A Letter to Daddy

I was inspired, driven, and compelled to write a letter to my daddy after hearing about the various crimes like killings shootings, rapes, violent attacks, etc that have been perpetrated by black youths. I was wondering why I have not heard any encouraging messages from the black leaders that say they speak for us. Are they not concerned about what is happening? Even the church remains silent.

I am speaking for the many young black males who feel as I do. I learned that many of these youth have no father in their homes. My letter to you could very well be theirs to their daddy. We want our father to play a role in our lives. There are females out there who want the same thing.

Daddy, I need you, where are you? Why did you leave me? When will you have something to do with me? How could you live as though I am dead? Contact me daddy, please. What did I do that caused you to abandon me? Did your father leave you as you have left me? I need answers to why you left. Mommy is doing her best to support me.

There are others out there like me. We are all crying out for answers. We need to know why you have abandoned us. All we ask is for you to be involved in our lives. I am tired of the streets and other people teaching me the wrong things. I want to tell you how I feel, just as the many other teenagers want to tell their father. Mom is having a problem with me. I am rebellious and so forth.

I need a father figure in my life. I see that she is using me to cause you emotional pain. She told me things that make me think that I was not your son. Is this true? I do not understand. Come back, explain and teach me. She cannot teach me what a man can teach me.

Quit being concerned about you. How can you say that you are a man? Are you blaming someone for your behavior or the white man? How can you look in the mirror, knowing that you have a son?

I am in this world without your help. You do not even pay child support. You have not called me since you left. Is this how a father is supposed to behave? Are you punishing me because of what happened between you and mom? You are a man on the outside, but you are behaving like a woman, relying on others to help mom and me.

I am not concerned about what happened between you and mom. You both are responsible for your own behavior and actions. Why have you not wanted to be involved in my life? Some of my friends have their fathers in their lives. The government and institution have become my father! Rescue me dad from the emotional hospital, jail and prison that you put me in.

Daddy, I had a dream last night that you returned home, and everything was all right. When I woke up, I ran into mom’s room. I did not see you.

Then I realized that it was a dream.

Daddy can you guess which one of these apply to me? I am in prison for life. I am in jail. I am sick. I am a member of a gang. I am an alcoholic. I am an adulterer. I am a fornicator. I have children out of wedlock. I am graduating and will be attending college without your help. The government and justice system has become my father. I am a homosexual. What other ungodly things enter your mind that I might be? Are you proud of me?

Am I saying that if you were here I would not have become any of these things? I do not know what would have happened if I had a father figure involved in my life.

Once I heard statistics speaking that a child who does not have a father living at home will grow up as a troubled child. Am I one of those statistics: No In case you may be wondering what I have become since you left, I am a divorced dad. I have a good job. I am playing a big part in my children’s lives. I sacrificed for my children to be a part of their life.

I learned something important about the black race when I was struggling within to find my purpose in life. I often wondered are there anymore: Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Rosa Parks, Jackie Robinson, Jesse Owens, Thurgood Marshall and Martin Luther King. These individuals saw a problem and did something about it. They did not abandon their calling; not even in the midst of death threats, suffering, and whatever their persecutors wanted to do to them. They made a difference in other peoples' lives. I do not know if you are making a difference in someone else’s life. I do not know if you have changed.

I had this thought: what if those black patriots where living in our time, and they saw how we were behaving? Would they run and hide or do something to educate, help and promote our race and people?

I remember what it was like when you were not around. It was hard; I had to fight emotionally and physically to get along in the neighborhood. I kept this thought in the forefront of my mind. I refused to blame others. I am breaking the cycle of abandonment not only the physical but mental as well.

I have decided to help those who want to be free from the plantation way of thinking. I decided to help those individuals to learn how to fight for righteousness. There are a lot of us who refuse to take a back seat in our minds. I decided to come forward with answers for the young black male problems. I realize that some had never heard the truth. Lies were told that it was someone else’s fault as to why they cannot get anywhere in life.

They were told to look at the other race instead of looking at self.

I recall a time when I was running a race within myself, and I won. We need to be peaceful people. Violence is not the way, and someone will get hurt. I heard some adult black males stirring up anger, and telling lies to some young black youths. When people like me refuse to stay on the plantation of blame, some blacks want to shut us up; they want to be our slave owner. I refuse to allow some black leaders and youths to keep me on their plantation of beliefs.

I want you to know that I have another father who would never hurt me. He disciplines me and tells me the truth. He teaches me about life, how to behave and much more. He would never leave me as you did. He wants the best for me. I want to introduce you to Him if you do not know Him already. I am getting to know Him and I like Him. My new father is God.

I wanted you to know how I feel and what has happened since you fled your family. It is my Prayer that other kids like me will not follow their daddy’s mistakes. As a young black male who has grown up without a father for most of his life, and for those who are experiencing what I had experienced,

I want you to look deep within. Surround yourselves with positive role models; people that want to help. Do not be ashamed of your weakness; ask for help. I do not want them to lock themselves into their self imposed prisons. In other words, blame game; I want them to wake up from their own abandonment and be what God has for them. My heart has hardened; I show no emotion, and that is not good. I would ask my father for help.

Even though I have many issues where I need help, friends, family, strangers, and ministers commended me for being a part of my children's life regardless of what happened when I was a child.