I am happy

There was a time that I was not happy with myself. I was feeling lots of emotional pain. I shared how I felt with some friends. I was at a point to where I wanted to give up. They tried to encourage me out of my emotional stupor. When I really thought about what my friends had said, I realized that I had focused on the negative and did not look at the positive. I considered what I had done that had caused me to not be happy. There were a lot of things that I had chosen that had put me into despair.

I recognized that I had looked for happiness in sexual encounters, bars, alcohol, people, material things, relationships, and money. These were temporary forms of happiness, considered to be my pill to numb me through the many days and nights filled with tears and emotional pain. I wanted all of this to stop.

Several days later I met a woman. We were having a conversation; she said something that had nothing to do with our discussion. She said, “Be happy because I had overcome a lot, and I should be thankful for what I had done. Be happy because you are alive." This woman had no idea how I had felt. Her words and words from others opened my consciousness. I began to think about the positive things in my life.

I asked myself why I focused on the negative and not the positive? I blamed my family; I did not grow up in a positive thinking environment. I was still being driven by my emotions; experiencing the highs and lows of negativity.

I understood that I had traveled down a road full of despair, and along the way I met other unhappy people. We all were miserable about our life. Our experiences taught me that I can experience happiness if I refuse the negative and choose to be happy. I must will myself to be happy. It won’t be easy, and I will struggle with this every day. I know I will have off and on success towards being happy.

Regardless of what I had experienced, I am happy because the Lord woke me up to this morning. I have a job, a dependable car, money, my children, family and I are all healthy, and I have a roof over my head. I thanked the Lord for the unknown miracles that he performed throughout my life. I decide to be happy in all things. No one can make me happy. I chose to be happy. I must look within myself and see the greatness of God in all things and be a part of his work through my happy moments and sad moments.

I choose to highlight the positive and resist the negative. I am happy!

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Justice will prevail

Oh my God, why was my love one convicted of a crime that they did not commit? They are innocent, Oh Lord! Not my baby: what I am going to do? This cry is heard throughout the county and the world every day. From time to time we hear of a person saying that they are innocent, and later on they are released from jail or prison after DNA results, or new evidence proved that they were indeed innocent.

Is Justice executing her authority? From this message, you will see the real reason as to why innocent people are pronounced guilty. In addition, the truth shall set them free one day, if justice is allowed to express herself. Also you will see why a guilty person is given an innocence court verdict.

I am afraid to say that if justice is not allowed to express herself, the innocent individual may serve the sentence of the real suspect, spend the rest of their life in prison, be put to death or die in prison. Sometime the suspect is never caught. You may think that is not fair, consider this; Justice will not force herself on anyone in order to make something right. Certain events, circumstances and so on have to happen for her to operate; she has to attach herself to something. An example of justice expressing herself is to make the wrong right. In other words, a new trial is ordered by the courts and sometimes the once guilty person is pronounced innocent.

Even if there is a new trial and the innocent person is found guilty again, is it because the witnesses are dead, lack of evidence, the witnesses cannot be found, or dishonesty from the prosecution or defense. Only spiritual justice knows the truth as to why they are found guilty. You need to know that we are born into a world with a sinful nature within us, which is from our ancestor Their sins are passed down from generation to generation ( and we commit our own sins, a fact to keep in mind we are our ancestors). Every one of us could be experiencing something that we may think is not fair. I want to inform you that you had nothing to do with the creation of the spiritual laws. Spiritual justice must be allowed to express herself. It must have something to attach itself to.

When the six or twelve-jury members are persuaded with lies from the prosecution, police officer, and defense,. Justice will have no room to move through the trial. In addition, spiritual justice must be allowed to flow through the judge; when it is not, the outcome will not be in the innocent individual’s favor. However, if there is an honest error in the court proceedings justice can use that opportunity to make the correction.

We are what we eat

We are what we think and what we eat. Who is feeding us; is it from the Spirit of God or from Satan? We are not independent thinkers. There is no other place where our thoughts come from. It makes no difference if we refuse to consider or do not believe that we are what we eat. We will receive what we believe. This is a foundational message for us to build upon and according to our thoughts and the ways we think, we would build our own behavioral house.

Everyone’s behaviors are the same, but, we respond and behave differently to them. Everything that happens to us is from the way we think. Life and death are in the power of our words. Every time we feed ourselves or accept food (words) from other people, we are eating what they are feeding us. How do we eat? We accept their food of thoughts into our mind without considering if it could be harmful to us.

Why do we accept thoughts from others; perhaps because their thoughts appeal to our selfish desires. This is what prevents us from looking any further. We must be aware of their motives, and ours. It would be a good thing if their motives were in good faith, however, if they have an ungodly motive, then what they are feeding us will be harmful to us.

Sometimes we do not want to consider the truth; if we did, we would have to make a choice to change, and some of us do not want to change. Therefore, we blame others for problems or circumstances in our lives.

Everything that we do or say is from the thoughts of God or from Satan. Everything good and evil; whether a lie or truth comes from their spirit. We need to examine our behaviors to see what spirit is manifesting through us and what spirit is manifesting through those who we are talking to.

Furthermore, our emotional pains are from the thoughts that we are thinking. For example; suicide, depression, loneliness, mood swings, and etc. We are responsible for our behaviors. We cannot or should not blame God or Satan. We are told that we must examine our thoughts and see what spirit is manifesting through us. When we behave in an ungodly manner, we should immediately recognize where that thought came from. No one can make us say or do anything. We decide what we want to do or say from the spirit that we have allowed to manifest through us. It has to be one or the other it cannot be both. We would love one and hate the other. We are never innocent, we are responsible for any thought that we accept into our mind.

In conclusion we attract what we are, not what we want. We attract people, situations, and circumstances into our lives from the thoughts that are within us. Remember we are our ancestors and every ungodly or good thing that they did passes down to us from generation to generation. Again, I want to remind you, that your unbelief does not stop or prevent us from experiencing the consequences of their sins and ours that were never confessed. Think of it like a magnet, it attracts. Have you even tried to put two magnets together that will not stick, until you switch them to their opposite sides, and they would come together?

It is the same spiritually, what is inside of us and from our ancestors is our problem. From that position you would know why bad things happen to us, that is another message for another day. Every time we act on a thought, we are building our own house and depending on the thought, we could eventually collapse mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Here is some desert for you to chew on. Have you ever move to another city or location to get away from people or situations that were not good for you? You wanted to make a new life for yourself, however, when you arrive at your new place the same problems, situations or circumstances pop up again. Do you know why? Here is the answer; it was never the physical location.

The problem was not your physical location; it is where your mind was living. What is in you attracted the same thing back to you. We are spiritual beings in a physical body. Our thoughts are spiritual just like the words we speak. In order to change what is on the outside you must change the way you think. You cannot do that by yourself. You need to accept the truth about you. Allow the Lord to help you, He would not help you until you ask for help and then He would send someone to you, afterward you must ask them to help you, if you choose. Some people would not ask for help because of their pride. They do not want anyone to know that they have a problem.

We need to seek out the truth no matter how hurtful. Which is better, to be hurt from a lie or feel the pain from being delivered? You need to choose whom you will serve; who is serving you your food of thoughts.

I want to thank all of my family, friends and anyone else who contributed for their part in putting all of this together.

· My father was in the hospital, when I spoke to him from Naples Fla. We talked about two things

· The first thing he asked was if I was still preaching. I told him yes. Good, he replied.

· The second was about him getting a haircut whenever I could come to visit him from out of town. I told him I would bring my clippers and cut his hair. He told me that he cannot get a free haircut. We laughed about that. I will give you a free hair cut when I come, I said.

· I went home and cut my father’s hair on November 3. I knew that would be the last time I cut his hair.

His birthday was on November 4 and he died the day after, I returned home. He was 75 years old. We all need to examine ourselves and see if we have anything against a family member because we may not have another chance to talk to them.

Being the oldest of his children it was expected that I speak at my father’s memorial service. This is the speech I gave. I attended funerals in the past. I can recall always hearing that the person was a good person; they were loving, kind, generous, etc.

I have never heard that they were hard headed, stubborn, prideful, selfish, or that it was all about them. Why is that, I would ask myself? Is it because they don’t want to offend or tell the truth about the other side of the person? I can speak for myself; I have areas in my life that needs to be worked on and so do you.

I must admit I thought about what I should say for days. It was hard for me to think of something and not until Wednesday morning did the Lord give me a message as I got out of the bed I heard a quiet voice, saying; tell them a funeral is for the living.

I had written this message on February 2-27-2006, when I had returned home from my brother's funeral.

God has given me the ability to write thought-provoking messages, from anything that I look at. Everything has a message within it. God is always speaking to us, the problem is we are not listening, or don’t know how to listen. It is my prayer that this message causes you to listen. It goes like this between two people.

When we attend a funeral, who is there?; The person in the coffin and those that are living. The body in the coffin is not communicating to us anymore, therefore who is the funeral really for? It is for the living that is in attendance.

Many people attend a funeral to seek out answers for his or her life It is a place where tears, fears, family, friends, strangers, smiles, sadness, grief, sorrows come together in one place for a few hours.

It is where the living think about their own life and about how they would want to be remembered and what would be said about them. It is sad that some people have instant religion because of a death, only to go back to doing the same old things after the person is buried.

There are some that really change because of a loved ones death. And then there those that really need to examine the reason why they are attending a funeral. What are their motives? Is it to see how the family behaves during the service, or whether the deceased person still looks like themselves in death as they did in life.

While all of this is going on within their minds, the body is lying peacefully in the coffin. It is not thinking about those in attendance. A funeral, then is is for the living. It is a place where we give our final respect.

Funeral services can also be a place for the living to evaluate their own lives; to make change where a change is needed, to forgive, to ask forgiveness, to really come together as a family. This is off the subject of what a funeral is a place for.(We all have a family, it is a blessing, there are not members to hate, refuse to talk to or for whatever you have determine to stay away from.) Read this and rewrite to clarify the meaning.

In conclusion, here is a thought for you to take back with you. You too are dead in the coffin of your mind when you refuse to forgive, refuse to love, refuse not to ask forgiveness and instead hold on to bitterness; blaming God, instead of doing the Godly thing that the Lord requires of us.

Let this moment be a moment where you rise up from your self-imposed coffin and begin to experience your own day by day funeral. Die to what the Lord wants you to die too, not what you decided to die from.

Don’t be remembered as someone who did not listen only to physically die and leave nothing good for anyone to say or to benefit from. After I returned home, I was in the bathroom, spiritually speaking, a place for deliverance, when I heard a voice ask… when you looked into the coffin, who did you see? Did you see yourself? Physically and spiritually you are a part of your love one they live through you.

Our feet is our mind. We stand on our beliefs.

Our behaviors are Our shoes

When I was gathering my thoughts about what to put in this message “If the Shoe Fits”, I sought out questions and answers from females and males. I wanted to hear what others believe. What was their belief on this subject? A woman once told me that she was offended by what I was saying. She did not allow me to explain what I meant by “if the shoe fits”. Let us not talk about this. Let us talk about something else. From her response, I knew that she was doing the very same thing that I am writing about. From my dating experiences, law enforcement job, and from talking to others, I was ready to put this message together.

“If the shoe fits,”is a saying that means that if something belongs or pertains to you, accept it. I am going to take this a step further. The shoe that you are wearing is going to hurt your feet. Why, would it hurt your feet? Because of the size of your feet, and your pride.

We stand on our feet. We stand on our beliefs. In other words, our mind is our feet. This message will hurt you if you are wearing the wrong pair of shoes. If you are offended by what I have written, then the shoe fits you. There is no way to be offended by something that you are not doing. Of course, you may express your dislike, but there is a difference in the two.

Our beliefs, feelings, and emotions do not change the truth. The truth will hurt. We cannot focus on our feelings all the time when we hear things that hurt us. Feeling hurt does not change the truth. The truth is the truth. It never changes. I mention that because of my dating experiences, my job, and from other peoples’ comments. Some people are wearing shoes that should not be worn. I am writing this message because by learning something new, we should realize where the root of the problem is, and it should point right back to you. If the shoe fits, you are wearing it. What is this shoe that I’m talking about? Are you ready to have your shoe size exposed? Are you ready to remove the shoe that is causing your feet of a mind pain? Are you ready to be fitted with a new shoe that would relieve the pain? You must decide to examine if you are wearing one of these shoes. If you are offended then you are wearing the shoe.

As you read about the shoes, and find yourself getting angry, mad, or upset then your shoe size has been exposed. What I mean by that is, your degree of emotional feeling about the shoe list, is your shoe size. When we all go out to buy shoes, we ask to see a certain size, and color. The clerk returns with what we asked for. We put the shoes on, and find out that the shoe does not fit our feet and there is not another size. Nevertheless, we want that pair, because it makes us feel good, and we look good in them. Some males and females have purchased shoes that will cause them pain. They believe that they can stretch the shoe, to make them fit their feet. It is the same with our behaviors. We put on behaviors that should be not worn.

If you are a male or a female reading this message, then you may have heard, or said these things: whatever, so what, who do you think you are, man please, you are a fool, you are stupid, shut up, and you make me sick. These are some the “shoes” that I am talking about. It is all in the way we communicate with a spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or employer. Who wants to experience the put downs, complaining, or profanity when we are being spoken to?

Should we allow ourselves to be stomped with insults, cursed at, and to not being supported by the one who say that they love us?

I recall a friend telling me about the many men that she has dated and met. Some wanted to live off her, not wanting anything to do with children, having affairs in their relationship, and scared to express themselves. She was tired of being stomped and kicked on, and disrespected. She has decided not to wear those shoes anymore. She was lashing out at her new love, for something he did not do. She wanted to wear a new kind of shoe, shoes that will take her in a different direction. She wanted to think with a different kind shoe mind. She wanted to wear, and walk in a different mind of a shoe that would guide her to freedom from the shoe bandages that she has decided to wear. When we wear a pair of shoes that are tight, it will cause our feet to swell. Then we are forced to remove the shoes, and walk barefoot. It is the same spiritually speaking, that when we allow ourselves to wear a shoe-like behavior, we would swell up in pride. We must realize that some of our behaviors are insulting to others. I was also told that the reason a female, or male may stomp on their future, or current mate is because of their past relationship. Their behaviors would show us what kind of shoes they have decided to stretch into, and what they have been stomped with. Like it or not, your behavior reveals you to the man, or woman. What kind of person are you? Are you a stomper? Or one who wants to remove the fussing, independent, nagging, bossy, demanding shoes. Why should you wear the tearing down shoes? And not the building up shoes, to encourage, to support, and to uplift, your loved one when they are down.

The shoes that we use to insult are the words that come forth from our mouths. All of those shoes that I have mentioned are the words that we use to hurt other with directly or indirectly. We say them with no regards as to how the other person will feel. Then when that person says that they do not like it, some say that they do not care, if you don’t like it, you can leave; they hang up the phone, or do whatever.

Should you and I just accept the shoe stomping from the ones we love? This constant stomping from our loved ones should be stopped. This stomping behavior will slowly kill a relationship for sure. Expressing a feeling could be done in a much better way, without the insults. We need to tell our loved ones how we feel. About the put-downs, tearing down, and nagging shoes that they are constantly pounding us with.

We need another pair, the shoes that can bring forth life, to a new form of communication in a relationship. We need to wear the shoes of truth. Those bad shoes’ attitudes in our relationship must be stopped, and they must be removed.

Those loud, mean, argumentative, needy, materialistic shoes of communication must be removed from our minds. When we believe that it is okay to say whatever without regards to the other person’s feelings, we are slowly stomping them to death… The force of our words are penetrating their minds. Our mind is a womb. It gives birth to a behavior. A shoe- like behavior of, rage, angers, yelling, so what, whatever, hanging up the phone, accusing the others, revenge, putdowns etc. Eventually our love will fight back verbally, or physically. They too are responsible for their behaviors. As much as they feel that they must do something, it is still wrong. We all must realize that we are to examine our behaviors in any conflicts for what we could, and should have done in any conflicts involving anyone.

People must realize that they are walking alone because of the way they communicate with their loved ones. It is not always my fault, or yours. There is a Godly response to any conflict. We may not like what we are hearing, and our feeling has no overriding factors when it comes to doing the right thing. I have written a short exhortation called It is Not Always My Fault. This message is also hard hitting. These two messages should cause people to examine themselves. If they refuse to, then they will be walking alone.

I am a member of a church

I was standing outside my work truck when I heard some say, “I attend a church.” Suddenly I real ized that I had heard this thought in the spirit. That statement prompted me to write this message.

As long as I could remember, I have attended many churches. I was bouncing from one to another seeking a church that agrees with me. I now realize that I was not really committed, like the many relationships I was involved in.

Why was I constantly leaving one church and joining another? I now realize that I did not want to hear the truth. I wanted to stay in my realm of thinking because of my beliefs, race, wealth, ideals, personal feelings, wants, family, opinions, and etc.

When I was heavily involved in behaviors that later lead to pain, suffering, hurt, stress, anger, divorces and so forth, in the back of my mind I knew that it was wrong. I justified my actions and continued to do as I pleased.

One day I awaken from the sleep I had been in for years. I decided to really seek out God and quit playing church, as some people call it. I knew that I would have to die to my carnal minded thinking in order to do the right thing. I must give up what the Lord had told me to give up, even if it involved relationships, opinions, beliefs, feeling, ideas, wants, etc that I had held to be true. I had to give up anything selfish in opposition with His teachings.

I knew that it would be a battle of the minds; a struggle to do the right thing and yet I would do those things that are harmful to me.

When I refused to do so, I knew that I would reap the consequences from my actions. I would be the one to blame for whatever happens to me. I must Pray to God for help, resist the temptation, and ignore justifications to do those things that made me feel good. There were times that I fought God within my mind, telling him how I felt and what I want.

Who am I to tell God, what I need or what is good for me? I do not remember me saying, “God I know it is wrong but I am going to do it.” I realized that I did tell God that in a roundabout way? I told him from my choices, that where in direct conflict with his commands and teachings.

Furthermore, I recall when I had experience trouble, problems, pain, and suffering; I did run to God for help then. However, the help that I was seeking was temporary; I wanted the help but I did not want to really commit. I was using God as an ATM; the problem was, I was constantly making withdrawals of God’s Blessings and goodness, but not making any deposits to commit to serving Him.

I finally committed myself into a church that teaches the truth; that exposed my sins and wrong thinking. I must continually go through the process of confessing my sins, repenting, asking for repentance, reading His word, and seeking out the help that He had sent to me.

I know that I will fail at times, but as long as I confess my faults and shortcomings and continue to seek our His help my deliverance will eventually come.

You must choose the right road

I was driving to work and had this thought: Who are you following? I had a revelation that you and I could benefit from. I want to point out that some of us make decisions based on how we feel, what we think, and what we believe instead of the truth. “Who are you Following?” is to provoke you into asking yourself the same question I asked myself.

Politicians from both parties are not perfect. If they were, why are there always elections to elect someone else? In addition, how do we decide a candidate? Many people vote for what is in it for them and what partly they think they belong to. Instead, we should vote for the individual who has clearly stated their positions; that position being in agreement with the word of God. It is wrong to vote or do anything from our emotions. We should listen to the candidate and see what he believes.

I am a Christian who believes in the word of God. I do my best to obey His commands. We should vote for politicians that are closely following the laws of God. I noticed that many Christians are not obeying the word of God. They have their own belief about fornication, adultery, alcohol, etc.

When you vote, or decide to vote for someone who has a different position from what God has clearly stated in the bible, ask yourself, who are you following? Are you following the Lord, yourself, or Satan. We cannot continue to say that we are a Christian and refuse to separate ourselves from the lies? There is no in between where we are neutral and it is not our fault. We are either following God or Satan.

We must accept the truth and obey the word of the Lord. No wonder we have the government that we have. Politicians are reflections of the majority that voted for them. When we say that we are Christians, and believe what people, family, ministers, friends, and politicians are saying, which goes against the laws of God, who are we following?

We are not following the Lord. We cannot have it both ways and believe it is all right to do as we please, because of what we think, believe, and how we feel. When we do, we are telling the Lord we know what is best for us. In other words, we are declaring to the almighty God that we know what we want, and we are saying that we are Gods.

No one is excused. Not even ministers, pastors, teachers, evangelist nor any one that has authority in a church are exempt from judgment. God is not winking anymore. These people must teach what God has said. They should not be afraid to tell the truth. The truth needs to be told. It saddens me when I hear a man or woman of God teach untruth, especially when I read the opposite. Teachings from the anointed should have nothing to do with their opinion. Sin is sin, there is no other way to say it or pretend it is not. The compromising needs to stop and only the Lord has the power to stop it.

I saw two different political conventions. One candidate openly expressed their belief in God and the other did not. When the party that did not express God openly attempted to amend their platform to allow God to be added to it, a motion was submitted and the people at the conventions were asked to vote on it by saying I or No. The sound of the crowd indicated no. The chairperson ignored it and added God to their platform. The convention attendees did the unthinkable. They booed God. I recall a scripture, “He who deny me, I will deny them”.

It entered my mind that these people knowingly or unknowingly have told God that they know what is best for them. Because of their actions God’s spiritual laws are going to fall upon them. Whatever bad things will happen to them in the future, some may never realize that it was because they booed God. It makes no difference if they got caught up in the moment. How can anyone boo God, the Creator of everything? We have His life giving spirit in us. If He does not remember us, we won't wake up the next morning or we could instantly fall dead.

Here is an interesting thought I had when I heard them booing God. It was as though God was standing on the stage and asking the people to allow Him into their lives, and they booed Him. Spiritually speaking some are booing God every day for something bad that had happened in their lives.

Do not blame God or ask why bad things are happening to you. Your own mouth and behavior have brought judgment upon you. He Still Speaks, Now Listen has no power to make you do anything. I am a disciple of the Lord. I am provoking you into thinking about who are you following. There are consequences when we go against God. We will reap what we sow, or our children or their children will pay the price. It is not God punishing us, we are calling judgment upon ourselves. Who are you following: God or Satan?

Now you must decide to come to Him and ask what you must do to stop the judgment that has fallen upon you, or will fall upon you because you have compromised His word for the sake of getting along. Remember you will receive what you believe! There are no laws that any political party can pass that will prevent spiritual judgments from falling upon you and I.

I was inspired to write, “Stay on the Plantation, It benefits me,” because of what I was hearing from the mouths of some black leaders. These leaders claim to speak for our race. However, they are indirectly saying to stay on the plantation because it benefits me to rule over you. There should come a time in everyone’s life when we should begin to question what we are hearing. I am one of these people asking, “Why am I here? What should I be doing? Should my life be defined by these leaders or by me?” Then I realize that I was awakening from my mental state of slumber. I had been sleeping all these years, while I was awake. While asleep, I was being told lies about how good it was, being on the plantation. These lies controlled my everyday behavior. I was spiritually sleeping, while doing my own self-centered things. I was not concerned with what was going on around me. I was sleep walking through fields of lies. I had allowed the planting of lies in the plantation of my mind. I refused to uproot these weeds of lies and plant the seeds of truth. I became the very thing that I allowed to grow in my mind. A planter will come in due season to till my soil of emotions with more lies and encourage me to, “Stay on the Plantation, it benefits me”, not you. Indirectly they were saying that I needed them and the government to think for me. Am I to be a puppet, moved by strings of words? Should I wait for my puppeteer to pull my emotional strings? Should I remain a mental slave, shackled by their words of oppression?

Should I look for an opportunity to escape from the self impose plantation of thoughts about me? I have been bound by lack of knowledge of self and the truth. What can set me free from my oppression? Should I blame my lack of trying to escape, on the other race? As the days and weeks pass, I began to feel helpless. I felt that I could not do anything to stop the, “Stay on the Plantation, it benefits me” way of thinking in others nor myself. I wanted to shout out, “Wake up, wake up! You, who are sleeping walking, wake up!” As I slowly began to awake, I realized that we were being indirectly labeled as weak, inferior, stupid, hopeless, and more by black leaders. Many said that it was the other races fault that we are on the plantation.

When some began to question these leaders, they are attack with insults, lies or character assassinations. A direct result of their refusal to remain on the puppeteer’s emotional plantation of ideas and beliefs. As a race of people who has been oppressed, beaten, killed or raped, “the white man” is always to blame. Yes, this is true to an extent, but they are not the only race that is oppressing us. There is another race that is doing it daily in some form of another. What race is it that will seek to kill, steal, and destroy? It is that black race. Black individuals are committing all types of crimes, against their own race. In addition, black leaders seek to harm its own race so they can remain in power. They say that they speak for their entire race. I do not recall them asking me what my moral views are. They are supporting issues that are shackling me to their plantation of choice.

Some black and white people get along well together. Despite this, we still hear some blacks, saying to stay away from whites because they are no good. Who is warning us about the black leaders who are no good for us?

Thinking about it now, I cannot recall any modern day black leader saying or doing things as past black leaders did. Some of these past leaders pointed their finger at themselves. They felt that we could accomplish many things as other races. We could achieve many great things; not from the color of our skin, but by the knowledge within us. Some leaders today have been with the past leaders. They must have forgotten this because they are deceitfully saying, “Stay on the Plantation, it benefits me.” They are instilling this plantation way of thinking. Some blacks have allowed themselves to be placed on the mental whipping post of life. They are being killed, raped, oppressed, and robbed, all through lies that have kept them bound to the plantation of their puppeteer.

When anyone escapes, he or she is captured and brought back to the plantation to face the music of their accuser, on the plantation of the puppeteer. Some are mocked and made fun of in the main square of the news media. Some will be called an Uncle Tom because they refuse to confess their support to the puppeteer and stay on their plantation.

Those who decide to remain on the plantation of the puppeteer, will be fed with a little bit of truth, mixed with lies to reinforce, “Staying on the Plantation, its benefit me.” The puppeteer claims to speak for my family and me, assuming that he knows what is best for me. Nothing has been done to get me off their plantation of oppression. When I allow myself to remain on their plantation of ideas, I will behave according to their words. I will be working for them and they will have power over me, I am keeping them in the position to pull my emotional strings. This will guide my behavior away from escaping.

They are my slave owners. They control me and they have the power to deceive me. If we are led by our emotions and refuse to accept the truth about who is harming us, we will remain sleeping, while awake. When we seek to be free from the plantation of mental control, we are labeled as enemies of our own race. We will face many attacks from those who choose to stay on the plantation of their puppeteer. The puppeteers have exempted themselves from the truth. They have set themselves up as a slave master of their own race. They say that we speak for their own race and they know what is best for their people. They hold us back with lies of the past! Shifting our eyes and ears off of them and pointing the finger at others. They try to convince us that they have done this or that to you, but we, the plantation owners are for you and we will help you.

Should you and I be judged by the color of our skin or by our character and moral behavior? Repeatedly, these same leaders focus our attention on the color of our skin.

They say that we should receive something for it, and because of past discrimination, we deserve restitution. Vote for me, elect me, and when I win, I will change things. What have you changed? Have you gotten me off of your plantation way of thinking? We must choose to escape from the puppeteer who seeks to steal, kill and destroy us. We must take responsibility for our own behavior and quit accusing or blaming others for our own self-imposed plantation way of thinking.

When we allow our puppeteer slave master to think for us, we will remain on the plantation of lies. We will be eating little crumbs of truth and sipping on the lies. We may have a feeling of being full, but we will be starving spiritually. We need to be fed with the truth about self.

By choice, we in the black race need to see the truth about the plantation way of thinking. See the truth about the puppeteer and begin to be your own farmer. Plow up the old way of thinking that you allowed to be planted by the puppeteer. Some may label you as “acting white, a sellout, jumping over.” You may be whipped with untruths, shackled with accusations about your character, all by the same black leaders, who says they speak for our race.

When we continue to allow the puppeteer to remain in control, they will have the power to steal, kill and destroy us. We must begin to awake from our mental sleep walking state, to seek out a righteous leader. The puppeteer will cease to have power and they will lose their position and benefits from us being on their plantation.

Are we not to think; for ourselves or question what we are hearing? Should we jump into a swimming pool without looking? We will then realize that it is too late to change our direction from the stealing, killing and destroying that is at the bottom.

Remember this message the next time you indirectly hear, “Stay on the Plantation, it benefits me.”

I forgave you

Daddy and Mommy I want you to know that I forgive you. At first I did not want to forgive you at all. All I could think about was “why mommy?”, “why daddy did you abandon me? The thoughts that I had towards you two were not good and I was not sure what I would say or do if I were to see you. I looked over my two letters...

I realized that I did not mention that I forgave you. I am not telling you this to get you to respond to my letters. It is up to you whether you respond or not. I have learned that it is the right thing to do, and I should not be mad, angry, or have hatred towards you. I am just telling you how I feel. I am not going to bottle up my feelings. I am not going to be unforgiving. I am not going to be one of those people who say, “I will never forgive. I will go to my grave before I forgive”. I Pray for your well being, and that everything goes alright for you.

I am not concerned whether you want to be a part in my life. I just wanted to tell you that I forgave a long time ago. It is my Prayer that you are well and good things happen for you.

Take care, your child

From Azania Nefertiti Ali

I realize how important it is to have a dad in a young girl’s life. I always wanted a dad to talk to about the difference between little boys and grown men. If my dad would have just sat down with me and said Azania Nefertiti Ali.If a man really loves you, he will not just want you for sex. I am more than just my hips and my thighs.

Men won’t fall in love with you if you have sex with them. Little boys tell girls what they want to hear to get in their pants. They will even tell you, that they love you just to have sex with you. Anthony I could go on and on about how important it is to have that male role model in the home or even involved in a young girl’s life.

I will say one last thing, and that is known I will gain more understanding than I realize. Until I handle my unfinished childhood business, I will behave like a child.See Anthony what I did not handle or complete as a child, I will handle and complete as an adult. There are some things in the back of my mind that stills hurt.

Anthony thank you for all the wonderful advice and spiritual intake. You’re a wonderful person to talk to. I feel like I can talk to you about any and everything.

To my son, daughter and baby’s mother,

I want you to know that I was given two letters to read. One of my friends suggested that I read, “A letter to daddy”, and “Pay your child support daddy… and you too mommy”. I must admit as I read them I saw myself in those words. I felt the words jumping off the pages slapping some sense into me. I was emotionally touched by what I read. I had been awakened from being sleep, while I was awake. I am ashamed of what I have done and for not supporting you all.

I am not making any excuses or blaming you all for anything that I have done. I accept full responsibility. Those letters have convicted me of my past and present behaviors, and for the first time, I realized that I had not been a father nor behaving as a man. I have behaved immaturely. I abandoned my responsibility to you and your mother. I am sorry that I hurt your mother. I had to write you. I want to meet you all. I hope this letter will reach your hands.

All of these past months and years, I spent doing my own thing. I was not concerned about you or your mother’s well being until I read those two letters. I am not sure if you will read this, but if you have read this far, I want you to know that I want to be a part of your life. I know that I cannot back the hands of time. All I can do is to begin from the time when we finally meet. I want to meet all of you; to tell you why I abandon my family and what has happened since I fled.

I have so much to share. I want you to look me in my face and maybe you can perceive that I am telling you the truth about beginning a fatherly relationship. Words on a piece of paper cannot express how I feel and is not the same as in person.

Please forgive me and allow me a few minutes to talk to you all. Afterward, if you all do not want me in your lives, that is fine with me. I cannot make you do anything. Please contact me at the enclosed address. I will eagerly wait for your response. Let’s build a foundation together.

Your Dad

You are hereby ordered to pay child support for your child(s). I would rather go to jail, find another job of a lesser hourly amount, quit my job, work under the table, convince you to have an abortion and spare me the financial loss, leave the county or even kill before I pay you child support. Why are you going to the courts to get me to give you my money? I would give you what I want and depending on how you respond, you may get some of it or none. I do not care what the courts do nor say.

I am a former police officer, and I heard some these statements from females, and males of domestic cases that I had investigated. Furthermore, I heard some from friends and family members.

I met a male who was receiving child support from the mother; it's not often, but some fathers receive child support. Some females believe that the male should always be the one to pay child support regardless of who has custodial rights, because they are the man. The female forgets that she had something to do with getting pregnant. if only she had waited until she was sure he was the one and got married, before engaging in sexual behavior and producing a child out of wedlock. When news of the pregnancy is mentioned the blame game begins about who should have used some form of birth control protection. When two people with a child(s) are in love everything on the surface appears to look fine; however, when they end the relationship some walk away and take care of their financial responsibility, and others refuse and would go to great lengths not to pay.

I am a father of three, and I am paying child support. I never thought about not paying. It was my responsibility to pay for the maintenance of my children regardless of how or why our relationship ended. The only thing that I did not like was how the money was spent. I know that child support doesn’t have to be solely for the child. Paying the utility bills, rent etc. all goes to benefit the child. I did not want their mother to be using the money for her nails, hair, clothes and so forth. I was once told by a female that because I was paying child support, I would have no or little money to spend on her, so she could not be involved in a relationship with me. It is funny that same woman had a child whose father was not paying child support. When I asked, why he does not pay, she told me that she didn't want him to be involved in their lives. So he agreed to abort his responsibility in return not to pay child support. I had spoken to some women who would spend the money solely on the child, and some women spend part of the money on themselves only to return to the court to ask for an increase in the name of the child. It is like the government saying, pass this law for the children, and yet underlying it’s not.

I have never met a woman who says that she is not paying child support because the child is not hers; however, I have met a lot of men who said that the child they were supporting was not theirs. You need to take a paternity test I advised. Some claim that the women trapped them, or did not use any form of protection purposely. These men in their refusal to pay child support never admit that they are the cause of their problem; if they had just kept their penis in their trousers, they perhaps would not be objecting to the financial ejection. A woman once told me that another woman told her to apply for welfare and avoid the court proceeding as it pertains to child support. This way the courts go after the father and she could spare herself of the embarrassment. That kind of thinking reveals her attitude concerning a man's responsibility.

I wondered did she know where the money is coming from. It's coming from the taxpayers, and the government in turn pays her. I get irritated when I hear stories of men avoiding their financial responsibility to their child’s mother, who they once said, baby, I love you; you are the one for me and so forth. When it comes to money being taken away they cry foul, putting the blame on the female. In the heat of their passions, they were only thinking about themselves not of any consequences. These men and women must do the right thing and provide for their child. It is not the child's fault they were conceived. It’s not the child’s fault that the relationship ended before they entered the world. It’s not the child’s fault that someone got hurt from the breakup. It's not the child's fault that their parents are behaving not like parents, but like enemies. It’s not the child’s fault that they were not aborted when one of their parents asked the other to do it.

My purpose for writing “Pay your child support Daddy… and Mommy you too”, is to cause those of you who are going through something similar to think about your child. It is not about you; it is about your child. Your child needs both of you in their lives. When you don’t pay any child support, who gets hurt? Is it yourself? No, it is your child. When you pay child support, you are taking care of your responsibility, regardless of what happened that caused the split. Paying child support is the first step that should lead to a non monetary child support. You can support your child with your love regardless of how you feel about the person you conceived the child with. Support that child with attention, affection, and love. Teach them right from wrong.

I mentioned abortion and I had this thought, about a spiritual abortion. It is the same as a physical one; denying life and refusing to take responsibility for your sinful behavior. For example: not being responsible, refusing to pay child support, refusing to involve oneself in your child's life, denying your child what is necessary. You may have never agreed to an abortion but by refusing to pay child support or to involve yourself in your child's life it is a form of abortion.

There is a saying, “what goes around comes around”. In the word of God, it is called the sowing and reaping judgment. When a person refuses to pay child support, the money gets taken from them in a form of accidents, sickness, loss of employment, thefts, etc. An agreement that exempts the other from paying child support in return not to involve them in their child’s life does not stop the sowing and reaping judgment.

There is a spiritual law that executes justice and is not controlled by what we feel, believe, think, and want. What if the other person is using your child against you, what do you do? You try to discuss the matter in a civilized manner. If you are unable to come to a resolution, seek legal advice. You do not punish your child by withholding or aborting your responsibility. What if the other parent proposes an offer to you that you do not have to any pay child support if you stay out of your child's life? You need to refuse to accept these terms of conditions, especially when it goes against what God requires of you.

Your child needs you. As your child grows up they will need more than money. They will need a continuous non monetary child support in all areas of their lives. You must teach them what is right,and hopefully they will not grow up and conceive a child in marriage or out of marriage, end their relationship and their children end up saying, “ pay your child support daddy… and you too mommy".

Daddy I hope you read my letter

I was inspired, driven, and compelled to write a letter to my daddy after hearing about the various crimes like killings shootings, rapes, violent attacks, etc that have being perpetrated by black youths. I was wondering why I have not heard any encouraging messages from the black leaders that say they speak for us. Are they not concerned about what is happening? Even the church remains silent.

I am speaking for the many young black males who feel as I do. I learned that many of these youth have no father in their homes. My letter to you could very well be theirs to their daddy. We want our father to play a role in our lives. There are females out there who want the same thing.

Daddy I need you, where are you? Why did you leave me? When will you have something to do with me? How could you live as though I am dead? Contact me daddy, please. What did I do that caused you to abandon me? Did your father leave you as you have left me? I need answers to why you left. Mommy is doing her best to support me.

There are others out there like me. We all are crying out for answers. We need to know why you have abandoned us. All we ask is for you to be involved in our lives. I am tired of the streets and other people teaching me the wrong things. I want to tell you how I feel, just as the many other teenagers want to tell their fathers. Mom is having a problem with me. I am rebellious and so forth.

I need a father figure in my life. I see that she is using me to cause you emotional pain. She told me things that make me think that I was not your son. Is this true? I do not understand. Come back, explain and teach me. She cannot teach me what a man can teach me.

Quit being concerned about you. How can you say that you are a man? Are you blaming someone for your behavior or the white man? How can you look in the mirror, knowing that you have a son?

I am in this world without your help. You do not even pay child support. You have not called me since you left. Is this how a father is supposed to behave? Are you punishing me because of what happened between you and mom? You are a man on the outside, but you are behaving like a woman, relying on others to help mom and me.

I am not concerned about what happened between you and mom. You both are responsible for your own behavior and actions. Why have you not wanted to be involved in my life? Some of my friends have their fathers in their lives. The government and institution has become my father! Rescue me dad from the emotional hospital, jail and prison that you put me in.

Daddy I had a dream last night that you returned home, and everything was all right. When I woke up, I ran into mom’s room. I did not see you. Then I realized that it was a dream.

Daddy can you guess which one of these apply to me? I am in prison for life. I am in jail. I am sick. I am a member of a gang. I am an alcoholic. I am an adulterer. I am a fornicator. I have children out of wedlock. I am graduating and will be attending college without your help. The government and justice system has become my father. I am a homosexual. What other ungodly things enter your mind that I might be? Are you proud of me?

Am I saying that if you were here I would not have become any of these things? I do not know what would have happened if I had a father figure involved in my life.

Once I heard statistics speaking that a child who does not have a father living at home will grow up as a troubled child. Am I one of those statistics: No In case you may be wondering what I have become since you left, I am a divorced dad. I have a good job. I am playing a big part in my children’s lives. I sacrificed for my children to be a part of their life.

I learned something important about the black race when I was struggling within to find my purpose in life. I often wondered are there anymore: Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Rosa Parks, Jackie Robinson, Jesse Owens, Thurgood Marshall and Martin Luther King. These individuals saw a problem and did something about it. They did not abandon their calling; not even in the midst of death threats, suffering, and whatever their persecutors wanted to do to them. They made a difference in other peoples' lives. I do not know if you are making a difference in someone else’s life. I do not know if you have changed.

I had this thought: what if those black patriots where living in our time, and they saw how we were behaving? Would they run and hide or do something to educate, help and promote our race and people?

I remember what it was like when you were not around. It was hard; I had to fight emotionally and physically to get along in the neighborhood. I kept this thought in the forefront of my mind. I refused to blame others. I am breaking the cycle of abandonment not only the physical but mental as well.

I have decided to help those who want to be free from the plantation way of thinking. I decided to help those individuals to learn how to fight for righteousness. There are a lot of us who refuse to take a back seat in our minds. I decided to come forward with answers for the young black male problems. I realize that some had never heard the truth. Lies were told that it was someone else’s fault as to why they cannot get anywhere in life. They were told to look at the other race instead of looking at self.

I recall a time when I was running a race within myself, and I won. We need to be peaceful people. Violence is not the way, and someone will get hurt. I heard some adult black males stirring up anger, and telling lies to some young black youths. When people like me refuse to stay on the plantation of blame, some blacks want to shut us up; they want to be our slave owner. I refuse to allow some black leaders and youths to keep me on their plantation of beliefs.

I want you to know that I have another father who would never hurt me. He disciplines me and tells me the truth. He teaches me about life, how to behave and much more. He would never leave me as you did. He wants the best for me. I want to introduce you to Him if you do not know Him already. I am getting to know Him and I like Him. My new father is God.

I wanted you to know how I feel and what has happened since you fled your family. It is my Prayer that other kids like me will not follow their daddy’s mistakes. As a young black male who has grown up without a father for most of his life, and for those who are experiencing what I had experienced, I want you to look deep within. Surround yourselves with positive role models; people that want to help. Do not be ashamed of your weakness; ask for help. I do not want them to lock themselves into their self imposed prisons. In other words, blame game; I want them to wake up from their own abandonment and be what God has for them. My heart has hardened; I show no emotion, and that is not good. I would ask my father for help.

Even though I have many issues where I need help, friends, family, strangers, and ministers commended me for being a part of my children's lives regardless of what happened when I was a child.