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If the Shoe Fits

When I was gathering my thoughts about what to put in this message “If the Shoe Fits," I sought out questions and answers from females and males. I wanted to hear what others believe. What was their belief on this subject? A woman once told me that she was offended by what I was saying. She did not allow me to explain what I meant by “if the shoe fits." Let us not talk about this. Let us talk about something else. 

From her response, I knew that she was doing the very same thing that I am writing about. From my dating experiences, law enforcement job, and from talking to others, I was ready to put this message together.

“If the shoe fit,” is a saying that means that if something belongs or pertains to you, except it. I am going to take this a step further. The shoe that you are wearing is going to hurt your feet. Why, would it hurt your feet? Because of the size of your feet, and your pride.

We stand upon our feet. We stand on our beliefs. In other words, our mind is our feet. This message will hurt you if you are wearing the wrong pair of shoes. If you are offended by what I have written, then the shoe fits you. There is no way to be offended by something that you are not doing. Of course, you may express your dislike, but there is a difference in the two.

Our beliefs, feelings, and emotions do not change the truth. The truth will hurt. We cannot focus on our feelings all the time when we hear things that hurt us. Feeling hurt does not change the truth. The truth is the truth. It never changes. I mention that because of my dating experiences, my job, and from other peoples’ comments. Some people are wearing shoes that should not be worn. I am writing this message because by learning something new, we should realize where the root to the problem is, and it should point right back to you. If the shoe fits, you are wearing it. What is this shoe that I’m talking about? 

Are you ready to have your shoe size exposed? Are you ready to remove the shoe that is causing your feet of a mind pain? Are you ready to be fitted with a new shoe that would relieve the pain? You must decide to examine if you are wearing one of these shoes. If you are offended, then you are wearing the shoe.

As you read about the shoes, and find yourself getting angry, mad, or upset then your shoe size has been exposed. What I mean by that is, your degree of emotional feeling about the shoe list, is your shoe size. When we all go out to buy shoes, we ask to see a certain size, and color. The clerk returns with what we asked for. We put the shoes on, and find out that the shoe does not fit our feet and there is not another size. Nevertheless, we want that pair, because it makes us feel good, and we look good in them. Some males and females have purchased shoes that will cause them pain. 

They believe that they can stretch the shoe, to make them fit their feet. It is the same with our behaviors. We put on behaviors that should not be worn.

If you are a male or a female reading this message, then you may have heard, or said these things: whatever, so what, who do you think you are, man please; you are a fool; you are stupid, shut up, and you make me sick. These are some “shoes” that I am talking about. It is all in the way we communicate with a spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or employer. Who wants to experience the put downs, complaining, or profanity when we are being spoken to?

Should we allow ourselves to be stomped with insults, cursed at, and to not be supported by the one who says that they love us?

I recall a friend telling me about the many men that she has dated and met. Some wanted to live off her, not wanting anything to do with children, having affairs in their relationship, and scared to express themselves. She was tired of being stomped and kicked on, and disrespected. She has decided not to wear those shoes anymore. She was lashing out at her new love, for something he did not do. She wanted to wear a new kind of shoe, shoes that will take her in a different direction. She wanted to think with a different kind shoe mind. 

She wanted to wear, and walk in a different mind of a shoe that would guide her to freedom from the shoe bandages that she has decided to wear. When we wear a pair of shoes that are tight, it will cause our feet to swell. Then we are forced to remove the shoes, and walk barefoot. It is the same spiritually speaking, that when we allow ourselves to wear a shoe-like behavior, we would swell up in pride. We must realize that some of our behaviors are insulting to others. I was also told that the reason a female, or male may stomp on their future, or current mate is because of their past relationship. Their behaviors would show us what kind of shoes they have decided to stretch into, and what they have been stomped with. Like it or not, your behavior reveals you to the man, or woman. 

What kind of person are you? Are you a stomper? Alternatively, one who wants to remove the fussing, independent, nagging, bossy, demanding shoes. Why should you wear the tearing down shoes? And not the building up shoes, to encourage, to support, and to uplift, your loved one when they are down.

The shoes that we use to insult are the words that come forth from our mouths. All of those shoes that I have mentioned are the words that we use to hurt another with directly or indirectly. We say them with no regards as to how the other person will feel. Then when that person says that they do not like it, some say that they do not care, if you do not like it, you can leave; they hang up the phone, or do whatever.

Should you and I just accept the shoe stomping from the ones we love? This constant stomping from our loved ones should be stopped. This stomping behavior will slowly kill a relationship for sure. Expressing a feeling could be done in a much better way, without the insults. We need to tell our loved ones how we feel. About the put-downs, tearing down, and nagging shoes that they are constantly pounding us with.

We need another pair, the shoes that can bring forth life, to a new form of communication in a relationship. We need to wear the shoes of truth. Those bad shoes’ attitudes in our relationship must be stopped, and they must be removed.

Those loud, mean, argumentative, needy, materialistic shoes of communication must be removed from our minds. When we believe that it is okay to say whatever without regards to the other person’s feelings, we are slowly stomping them to death… the forces of our words are penetrating their minds. Our mind is a womb. It gives birth to a behavior. A shoe- like behavior of, rage, angers, yelling, so what, whatever, hanging up the phone, accusing the others, revenge, put-downs, etc. Eventually our love will fight back verbally, or physically. They too are responsible for their behaviors. As much as they feel that they must do something, it is still wrong. We all must realize that we are to examine our behaviors in any conflicts for what we could, and should have done in any conflicts involving anyone.

People must realize that they are walking alone because of the way they communicate with their loved ones. It is not always my fault, or yours.

There is a Godly response to any conflict. We may not like what we are hearing, and our feeling has no overriding factors when it comes to doing the right thing. I have written a short exhortation called It is Not Always My Fault. This message is also hard hitting. These two messages should cause people to examine themselves. If they refuse to, then they will be walking alone.

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